10 steps to forget you left Happy Valley
By: TRENTON HARVEY | For RISE Magazine
After finishing my freshman year at Penn State, I welcomed the idea of returning home for the summer and getting some hard earned rest and relaxation. Although, when I actually got home, reality set in that it would be a few months until I would return to what became my favorite place on earth, Happy Valley. When the depression began to set in, I consulted my fellow Nittany Lions, and came to the conclusion that leaving Penn State causes a condition that I like to refer to as “the REAL Summertime Sadness”. Move over Lana Del Rey, because this is serious. I couldn’t just stand by and watch as myself and other Penn Staters were experiencing this condition, so I created a 10 step process to help you cope. Soon enough, you’ll forget you even left Happy Valley.
- ALWAYS wear Penn State gear. As Penn State students, we know firsthand that anyone associated with the school has enough gear to last them at least a whole laundry cycle.
2. ONLY listen to the THON 2017 Line Dance. That’s it. No new music, no summer jams, no 80’s throwbacks. Just the line dance on repeat 24/7.
3. Paint a portrait of Old Main on a wall in your house. Personally, I think the wall to the left of your bed is the best, but any wall you see daily would work. For added effect, walk by it throughout the day, just as you would on campus.
4. Answer the “WE ARE” chant at least 5 times a day. Have someone close to you periodically say “We Are” to you throughout the day, and reply with the only appropriate response.
5. Dress your pet in the Nittany Lion costume. The costumes aren’t too hard to find online and if you don’t have a pet, a small child will work just as well.
6. Replace your bed with a hammock. Anyone who has walked by Old Main Lawn or the HUB lawn on a nice day knows that we at Penn State love our portable hammocks just as much as any other college student. Sleep in one every night and you’ll really start to feel back at home.
7. Place strobe lights and raised surfaces everywhere in your home. Happy Valley wouldn’t be Happy Valley without those crazy parties and accompanying light shows and dancers on raised surfaces. If you’re really trying to reminisce, play dance music and have a “ Party for 1”.
8. Have Berkey Creamery ice cream delivered. Just go to the creamery website, make a purchase, and you can have your favorite flavor delivered right to you! By doing this, it will now be absolutely unnecessary to consume ice cream from anywhere else.
9. Place a replica Lion Shrine somewhere in your home. This step if relatively flexible. You can get any size replica you want/ can find for purchase, and place it anywhere that you will see it often.
This last step is probably the most important, so read carefully and follow the instructions as precisely as possible..
10. Watch the infamous “Blocked Kick” replay every night before bed. No matter where you were in the world, you felt it in your heart when Marcus Allen leaped in the air, blocked the Ohio State field goal attempt, allowing Grant Haley to return it for the game winning touchdown. That’s a magical feeling that will send you straight back to Beaver Stadium.